


Letters for Lou

by benevolent_bear



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Letters, Love Letters, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Pining, Roommates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:55:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25335748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benevolent_bear/pseuds/benevolent_bear
Summary: Dear Lou,There are so many ways to express these emotions that you cause me to feel. But I couldn’t tell you if I tried. There is not a word or phrase fathomable that could encapsulate so eloquently how I feel for you. Even the words ‘I love you’ do not hold a candle to the sea of pure devotion and adoration that pulses through my veins.Or, the one where Harry writes Louis love letters in order to deal with his feelings for him and saves it to his google documents.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter One

Falling for his best friend and roommate wasn’t exactly what Harry had in mind when he moved to London and into a quaint flat. But here he was, eight months later with an undeniable infatuation with Louis Tomlinson, his best friend since he was 16 and now his roommate. At age 22, he would have hoped that Louis’ presence wouldn’t be enough to make Harry trip over his words like a young teen with a crush. It was as if he had lost complete touch with vernacular English. Fortunately, Louis hadn’t caught on to anything, Harry had never been much of a wordsmith, well out loud anyway. 

Harry had a deep love for writing, he was a writer who put all of his emotions into a piece, conveying his own feelings through fictional characters in fictitious scenarios. Now with his creative writing degree under his belt, he felt confident in his ability to write and write and write until every single pent up emotion was spilt onto the page. Harry just felt as if writing was better when you could feel a bit of the author in the words written. He liked the vulnerability. 

That’s how the letters started. They prevented him from spilling his embarrassing emotions to Louis and instead ended up as files on his google documents. Each letter was sappier than the last, Harry knew it, but he couldn’t stop the swelling of his adoration for Louis even if he tried. That’s why he ended up at his desk, in front of his laptop only half an hour after Louis had woken him up. Louis had walked in with a cup of tea, placing it down onto Harry’s bedside table and took to waking him with a soft voice, the soft voice that was reserved for Harry on mornings like these. The mornings where Harry had a day off at work and Louis had a later start so before he would leave he would wake Harry, press a soft kiss to his curls and be on his way.

So now, Harry sat with his fingers eagerly slamming against each key, typing a heartfelt letter that Louis would never receive. 

_ Dear Lou, _

_ There are so many ways to express these emotions that you cause me to feel. But I couldn’t tell you if I tried. There is not a word or phrase fathomable that could encapsulate so eloquently how I feel for you. Even the words ‘I love you’ do not hold a candle to the sea of pure devotion and adoration that pulses through my veins. When you cast your oceanic blue eyes in my direction my knees weaken at the sight. I succumb to the fire burning in my soul, lit by you and your infinite kindness. That smile of yours makes my stomach twist into knots in sheer delight. The sun and its ever-loving gaze pale in comparison to your complexion. She bows her head, conceding victory to you, for she knows she could never compare. She presses her lips to your cheek and leaving your silken skin with a sun-kissed glow. Your voice and its silvery smooth pitch make an orchestra sound like a cacophony of noise. I could listen to you talk for hours, especially when you talk slow. It is as if each word holds more thought and purpose as if you care enough to think through what to say to me. In these mornings it’s easy to pretend that you share the same devotion as I, in these mornings I allow myself to get lost in my infatuation. In these mornings I feel as if you are mine, for I am always yours.  _

_ Yours forever, Haz. _

Harry finished the letter, signing it off in a familiar way, the nickname Louis has for him. It was almost a shame that Louis would never read these, they had his most passionate words and probably what was his best writing. But at the same time, Harry supposes it’s good that Louis doesn’t see these. What would be of their friendship if Louis found out? Would he be repulsed by Harry’s feelings? Or even just the fact that Harry was attracted to men. They had never spoken about sexuality and in a hetero-normative society, Harry had always just presumed Louis was just that, heterosexual. He had never shown any interest in men and his last relationship was with a woman so why would Harry suspect anything different?

It was these fears that kept Harry awake at night. He knows his life would just be easier if he didn’t feel this way. Niall says it would just be easier if Harry told Louis, according to the Irishman the two had been dancing around each other for years. Harry had scoffed and rolled his eyes, saying he would have been able to tell if Louis had felt the same way has he did. Harry knew he didn’t, why would he?

Harry managed to peel himself away from the laptop after naming the document an inconspicuous ‘7’, indicating (depressingly) that this was the 7th pining letter Harry had written since the realisation of his feelings a month ago. Harry trudged out of his room and towards the kitchen, this mornings mug from his tea clutched in his right hand whilst his feet dragged across the un-carpeted floor. Harry never really knew what to do with himself on the days that Louis was gone. He always felt as if there was a void in his heart that wouldn’t go away until Louis came back in the evening, whining about the students in his class and their incompetence. When Harry would remind him that they were eight he was met with even more whining. Harry felt a smile creep up onto his face just at the thought of it. 

In the kitchen was the washing up that the pair had refused to do after dinner last night. Harry sighed, turning on the sink to start a bowl to wash up in, it would fill some of the Louis-less time that Harry had to fill. 

Harry had just finished washing the last bowl when his phone began to ring. He quickly dried his hands off on a tea towel and pulled his phone to his ears, answering it without checking the caller.

“Hello?” Harry answered curiously. 

“Harry!” A familiar Irish voice called down into the receiver. Harry rolled his eyes, he should have checked the called ID.

“Morning Ni, what’s up?” Harry replied, feigning enthusiasm, trying to match Niall’s energy.

“We’re going for lunch, that’s what’s up,” Harry whined quietly, he didn’t really feel like changing out of his cotton pyjama bottoms. “Don’t moan, I know Lou is at work and it’s your day off so we’re hanging out to stop your damn moping.” 

Harry sighed, but couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips. “Thanks, Ni, you’re a good friend.” Harry could hear Niall chuckling through the other end of the phone. 

“I know that mate, no need to tell me.” Harry rolled his eyes again. “I’ll meet you at that one vegan place you like.” 

“I like more than one vegan place.” 

“Did I ask for your opinion? You know what one I mean. I’ll see you in an hour.” Niall made a kissing noise to the phone before Harry heard the familiar noise indicating the end of the call. 

Harry did manage to bring himself to get dressed and out of the house in time, still in clothes that he deemed comfortable. His jumper fell over his hands as they clutched his phone, wallet and a bottle of water. The walk to the restaurant Harry knew Niall would be inside of, he said it tasted the most like meat. Harry pulled the door open and was hit with a wall of delicious scents and smiled contentedly. He absolutely adored the smell of food cooking, it was comforting and often put his mind and ease.

It didn’t take long for Harry to spot Niall, sitting in the back corner with his face in a menu. 

“Hey, Niall.” Harry greeted as he took the seat opposite the Irishman. Niall looked up, grinning happily at Harry. 

“Hiya Haz, it’s good to see you mate.” Harry nodded in agreement, sharing the sentiment. The two order food before delving into idle chitchat. Niall was right, it was better for Harry to be out of the house instead of mourning over a man who was only at work.

“Are you ever going to tell him?” Niall said suddenly, startling Harry at the sudden conversation change from golf to his unrequited feelings.

“God no. I like having a place to live.” Harry snorted. 

“It’s not healthy to bottle things up.” Niall frowned, encouraging his friend to voice his feelings. 

“I’m not! I’ve been writing letters.”

“Letters?” Niall asked incredulously.

“Yeah! Love letters. There’s 7 right now.”

“And you’ve sent them to him?” Niall asked, the crease between his eyebrows growing deeper in confusion. 

“No way, they live on my laptop.” Niall sighed in exasperation. 

“I think you should just tell him. He probably feels the same, he treats you differently than he does anyone else.”

Harry shook his head to show his disagreement. “He treats me like his best friend, which is all I am.” 

Niall scoffed. “Me and Lewis don’t cuddle on the sofa mate.” Harry just shrugged, that’s how he and Louis had been since they were teenagers, it didn’t mean anything. Well, it did to Harry but that doesn’t mean it does to Louis.


	2. Chapter Two

It was 3 days later when the urge to write struck Harry again. It was a Friday evening after Harry had returned from his shift at the bank and Louis from the school. They had been sat on the sofa, Louis’ legs thrown up onto Harry’s lap, the pressure of his legs feeling comforting as Harry toyed with the material of Louis’ joggers. Louis had insisted that they sat and watched a film together, claiming that the two hadn’t had a chance to hang out in the week whilst they both had work. Louis wasn’t wrong, they really didn’t see too much of each other and whilst Harry did miss Louis, it made it easier to resist spilling every single one of Harry’s newfound feelings out. 

There was some comedy that they had definitely seen before playing on the TV but Harry wasn’t paying much attention to it. Instead, his eyes were fixated on the profile of Louis’ face. Harry adored seeing Louis this at ease. Despite being an uncontrollable ball of energy most of the time it was hard to see Louis looking relaxed. He often had those looming thoughts in his mind and although he never spoke of them, Harry still knew they were there. Since his mother had passed there was a slight clouding of his eyes that felt unfamiliar. So Harry welcomed these moments happily. 

Louis laughed brightly at something happening on the screen, making his eyes crease at the corners and his head tilt backwards in amusement. Harry felt his heart clench just watching Louis. It was then when Louis looked at Harry, he must have noticed that he wasn’t laughing at the film too, catching him staring. Instead of calling him weird or insulting him, Louis opened his arms, making grabbing motions that Harry had come to learn meant for him to go over and cuddle him. Harry happily seized the opportunity, wriggling around so he could place his head on Louis’ chest and his arm loosely around his waist. Louis immediately began carding his fingers through Harry’s curls, untangling each knot that had made its way into harry’s hair throughout the day, making Harry relax further into his chest. 

It was moments like these ones, the ones where it’s just them, that Harry realises how lucky he is to have Louis in his life. Even if it’s not as a boyfriend being his best friend is more than enough, perhaps he’s being too greedy by wanting to be his boyfriend too. 

Louis drifts off by the time the film ends, peaceful breaths falling past his lips. Harry is filled with the overwhelming urge to press his lips to Louis’ sleeping face and flushes at the thought. He could not do that to his sleeping friend, it was weird and what would he do if Louis caught him? Harry pulls himself out of Louis’ arms that had slackened around him in his slumber and trudges back to his bedroom. He immediately sits in front of his laptop, ready to type letter number 8. 

_ Dear Lou, _

_ I cannot move past how completely besotted I am with you. When I spend time by your side it appears that my heart can only grow fonder, no matter how hard I try to suppress it. In the quiet evenings we spend together I am reminded of the first part of you that I fell in love with. The compassionate man who let down his walls for me, allowing himself to be vulnerable for my eyes only. I fell for you in how much trust you give me, how much I trust you in return.  _ _ When you smile I feel as if all else fades away, as if everything else on this earth pales in comparison to how your eyes crinkle when you smile, radiating brightly as if you are my own personal sunshine. You are not my own, of course, but if I cannot have all of your heart, all I can ask is for a little bit of it, just to see me through. You may not love me as a partner but as your best friend, I still feel overwhelmed by throes of your love. It aches to be loved by you as I know that no other love could compare. I could never find another to fall in love with the way I have you. I’ve tried, I’ve been on dates and yet every single one of them made me wish I was on our sofa, watching a film we had most definitely seen before. Seeing your relaxed expression in my company does nothing but elate me, knowing that you feel just as calm as I do by your side. You are hardly that relaxed now, not with everything that has happened. When I do get to see these moments I truly do make the most of them. So do not think me weird if you catch me staring, I’m just admiring you like I so often am. _

_ Always yours, Haz. _

Once Harry finished writing he returned to the living room and saw Louis still sleeping on the sofa. Harry knew that Louis would hate himself for sleeping there in the morning so decided to take matters into his own hands. He leant down, scooping Louis into his arms as delicately as he could as to not wake him. Louis was pliant under his touch, shifting in his sleep to lay his head on Harry’s chest as he carried him. Harry tried desperately but failed to suppress the coo that slipped past his lips as he stared down at the older man. It wasn’t often Harry got to see Louis vulnerable, his heart swells knowing that Louis trusts him enough to be.

Harry carries Louis to bed, laying him atop the rumpled sheets before tossing previously discarded blankets over him. Harry hesitated by Louis’ bedside for a moment, knowing he should probably leave but not wanting to. Before he could think about it too much, he leant down, ghosting his lips across Louis’ forehead and quickly retreating to the door.

“Thank you Haz.” he heard Louis mumble as he got to the door. Harry immediately froze at the sound of his voice, he had been caught. But Louis hadn’t been mad, he had thanked him. So Harry smiled, slinking out of the room and into his own. Where he undoubtedly would dwell more on that interaction. 


	3. Chapter Three

The desire to write letter number 9 came into fruition whilst Harry was away from the flat. Surrounded by four of his closest friends, including Louis. Apparently a Saturday night where they all had the next day off called for drinking, as Niall had put it. Niall had always been the one to orchestrate the plans that they would all end up regretting it the next morning. Harry, eager to avoid said sentiment, had volunteered to be the designated driver, allowing the others to get suitably hammered. Louis had always found himself a bit of a lightweight so was well on his way to full-blown drunk only an hour after their arrival. Harry smiled fondly at Louis as he leaned drunkenly across the pool table, eager to defeat Liam who was laughing amusedly at Louis’ lack of co-ordination. Louis seemed to admit defeat, his shoulders slumping as he missed hitting the ball with the cue for what had to be the 6th time. To Harry’s surprise, Louis turned back to where Harry sat at the table and called out for him. Harry traipsed over to where Louis and Liam were playing pool and accepted the cue from Louis. 

“Figured you’d have a better chance than me at this point.” Louis slurred, bumping Harry’s hip with his own as Harry encroached on the table. 

“Just a warning mate, Louis is losing pretty badly.” Liam teased, a broad smile on his face.

“Oh shut it Lima, Haz here can save it all,” Louis stated confidently, Harry looked at him incredulously.

Harry did not save it all. He was not the best pool player out there and with his handicap of Louis, it was impossible for him to have won. But Louis didn’t seem to mind, thanking him for his efforts and clapping Harry on the back, probably harder than he intended it to be but under the weight of his drunken hand, it was a solid thump. Despite the sting on his back Harry couldn’t help but beam under Louis’ thanks. It was then that Harry decided he wanted to write another letter. They returned to the table, where Niall seemed to be talking to a silent Zayn about golf, well Harry presumed it was golf, he couldn’t focus long enough to decipher it. His fingers were twitching with the need to be pressed against a keyboard, writing words of adoration for the man who was drunkenly pressed to his side, where he belonged. Harry flinched, this is why he needed to write, so he could properly form that idea.

Harry pulled out his phone, remembering he had downloaded the google docs onto his phone so he could write whenever and whenever. He opened up a new document and began typing. 

_ Dear Lou,  _

_ Your drunken giggles as you press against my side could possibly be the most distracting sound that I have ever heard. I have so eagerly tried to write this letter, letter number 9, but keep getting distracted by each noise that makes it way out of you. Perhaps this is why I write these at the privacy of my desk in my bedroom, where you are not there to overwhelm me simply by being you. In my room I can be left to my own thoughts, to dwell on each interaction we have ever had. But here, in a crowded bar, I am forced to confront the more raw emotions, the ones that are happening right this seco- _

“What you writing?” A giggly voice pulls Harry out of his phone. Harry turns, looking at Louis who was looking at him with a quizzical expression.

Harry shook his head softly, dismissing Louis’ question. “Nothing important.” Louis frowned as his eyes followed Harry’s hands as they slipped his phone back into his jeans pocket. It didn’t seem like Louis believed him but Harry knew he was too drunk to continue to press the matter. 

For the rest of the night, Harry was too preoccupied babysitting his drunken friends to return to letter number 9. It stayed in the back of his mind as he piled them all into his car. Harry buckled each of them in before getting into the driver’s seat, buckling his own seat belt. Harry pulled out his phone, unlocking it to see the document still open. Harry frowned at it before clicking out, going onto his contacts and shooting off a message to each boys respective partner in warning of their arrival.

Louis had begun to sober up by the time they reached their own flat. Instead of a giggling toddler version of Louis, he was faced with a doe-eyed sleepy Louis who wanted nothing more than to tiredly cling to Harry’s arm as he pulled him along back to their flat. Manoeuvring Louis was easy, he trusted Harry to keep him safe so blindly let him take him to bed whilst his eyes remained closed. 

“You okay to get out of your jeans?” Harry asked as he untied Louis’ trainers, pulling them off of his feet. Louis nodded sleepily, rubbing his eyes with the sleeve of his jumper. Harry gave a fond smile to Louis before standing up onto his feet. 

“Goodnight Lou.” Harry pushed Louis’ fringe out of his face as the elder man laid down in his bed wriggling to find a comfortable position. 

“Night Haz. Love you.” Harry felt his heart stutter at Louis words. It wasn’t something they had never said to each other but it was definitely uncommon. Harry just shook his head, taking it as Louis being an affectionate sleepy drunk. He went back to his room and opened the untitled document that he had been working on at the bar. But instead of on his phone he opened it up on his laptop, where the steady rhythm of clacking keys had become comforting and familiar. With a deep breath, Harry continued to type.

_ The ones that are happening in this second. At this point I am back home, you’re cuddled up in your familiar sheets and I am but a wall away, longing desperately to be sharing that bed with you. We haven’t slept in the same bed since our teen years before we went to university. I find myself missing the way that I would wake up with your legs intertwined with mine. At the time I had hurried to unwrap myself from you, eager to escape. But now, if I had the chance, I would savour the moment, appreciate the weight of your body against mine and love how right it felt. I apologise that this letter isn’t as metaphorical as I would like it to be. I am still reeling over the words you had uttered before you fell asleep. ‘Love you.’ Did you mean it? Or was it the sort of love that you have for Zayn or Liam? I’m afraid to find out so if somehow you find this letter, never let me know the answer because I’m not sure I could survive the heartache. Out of all of your drunk personalities, sleep-idled Louis is certainly my favourite. It is almost childlike the way you cling to me then. Like a young boy clinging to his parent for safety. I’ll happily be the figure you hide behind when you are scared, for I will fight until the end if you needed me to. You needn’t even ask, I would be there, right by your side. For my love isn’t conditional, now that you have it I am not sure that you could ever lose it. My heart was captured by you and it doesn’t seem that you are too eager to return it. In fairness I am not too eager to have it back, it is yours, just like the rest of me is. So keep it for as long as you desire. _

_ Wholly yours, Haz _


	4. Chapter Four

They had spent the entire Sunday together watching terrible daytime TV. Louis had to mark some schoolwork and Harry set about distracting him. Every time that Louis furrowed his eyebrows in concentration, Harry would grab a piece of popcorn and throw it at the other man’s head. The response he would get was a scowl or an exasperated look but there was no anger behind his reactions. That made Harry smile. Looking back on it, the best one had been when Harry had managed to throw the piece of popcorn and it had landed snuggly behind Louis’ glasses. Harry had immediately lost it, being unable to control his laughter whilst looking at Louis’ shocked expression. He had then heard Louis sigh before the rustling of paper and the next thing he knew he was being tackled back onto the sofa, spilling popcorn between them. Louis was relentless as he jabbed his fingers into Harry’s sides, refusing to have mercy on the younger boy. Harry had cried out for mercy but Louis hadn’t relented, insisting that Harry must pay penance. 

The day had ended with Louis cuddled up to Harry, his head resting above his heart. Harry prayed that Louis couldn’t hear just how fast his heart was beating for him. They spoke in hushed whispers of their friends’ lives as Louis’ pointer finger mindlessly traced patterns across Harry’s chest, every so often pulling the fabric of his t-shirt along with the movements. The quietness and the delicacy of the touch made the moment feel so intimate to Harry as if they were bearing a piece of their soul to each other.

“You’re going to be my date to Stan’s wedding right?” Louis whispered, tilting his head back to look at Harry’s face. Harry smiled softly, nodding in confirmation. If Louis wanted him there, he was going to be there. Stan had been Louis’ best friend before he had met Harry for years, the two were still awfully close but when Harry had asked about it he was just told, “Our friendship is just different, no ones like you Haz.” That had made him feel special and the blush that had crept up his neck had definitely conveyed that, well, if Louis’ cheek pinching was to be trusted. 

“I can’t believe he’s getting married. We had always thought it’d be me first.” Louis looked away from Harry, returning his head to the comfortable position on Harry’s chest. 

“That’s okay, you just haven’t found the person you’re supposed to marry.” Harry attempted to comfort, even though it hurt him to say it. 

“That’s the thing, I think I already have.” Harry’s heart clenched at Louis admission. Louis had just admitted to Harry that he was in love with someone enough to want to marry them. Subconsciously Harry tightened his arms around Louis possessively. So he was to lose Louis soon, great. Harry didn’t think his heart could take it, so he removed himself from the situation. He needed to put space between them. 

“I forgot I was supposed to see Niall this evening.” Harry sat up, causing Louis to fall back off his chest. Louis stared at Harry confusedly, shocked at having their bubble of comfort broken. Harry couldn’t bring himself to look at Louis, instead he grabbed his phone and keys, slipped his shoes off and left the flat.

It was only once he was standing on Niall’s porch step that Harry understood the gravity of what he had just done. If there’s any way that reveals your suppressed feelings it’s definitely acting jealous and possessive before running off at the mention of feelings for other people. Niall opened the door with a sad smile on his face.

“Come in you big idiot, tell uncle Ni what dumb thing you did.” So Harry did, he sat on Niall’s sofa and recounted the evening’s events to him, not sparing any details.

“Sounds like to me that he was trying to tell you had feelings for you.” He scoffed at Niall’s words with an eyeroll. 

“No, he literally just told me he was in love with somebody.” Harry pouted slightly. 

“He didn’t say who, just that he wanted to marry someone. Go home to your boy, Jen is upstairs waiting for me.” 

“Gross.” Harry scrunched his nose at Niall who swatted him on the back of the head.

“Go.” So he did. 

He went home and found a pouty Louis still on the sofa, his half of their matching blanket set wrapped securely around himself. 

“Why did you go to Niall’s?” Was the first words out of Louis’ mouth.  _ Shit,  _ Harry thought, I _ need to think of a good excuse.  _

“Uhm we were talking about weddings and it reminded me that Niall was thinking of proposing to Jen.”  _ Nice excuse dumbass, Niall is going to kill you.  _ Louis gave a bright smile, clearly made happy by the prospect.

“Oh wow! That’s a big step, is he ready for that?” Louis asked curiously.

“No, not really, that’s why we were talking about it. He’s not sure if he’s ready so was asking for my advice.”  _ Good save idiot, at least Niall might not kill you now.  _ Louis nodded understandingly. 

“Well don’t just run off again or there will be consequences.” Louis pointed a threatening finger at him but it lost its impact by being blanket-covered, it just made Louis look unbelievably soft.

“I’m not a primary school child, that doesn’t work on me.” Harry chuckled, ruffling Louis’ hair before delving further into the flat to his bedroom. He faintly hears a ‘hey!’ being called out after him making Harry chuckle quietly. 

Harry sat at his desk again, opening his laptop and a new document. He stared it blankly for a few minutes, needing to put his feelings on paper but unsure as to where to start. It was then when a knock sounded on his door. 

“Come in Lou,” Harry called out, rotating in his chair to look at Louis as he entered to room. In his hands was Harry’s favourite mug. 

“I made you some hot chocolate, I know it helps you go to sleep earlier and you really should, you’ve got work in the morning.” Harry smiled softly at how considerate Louis was and at how well he really knew him.

“Thank you.” Louis beamed at Harry’s thanks, handing him the mug.

“What you writing Haz?” Louis asked, looking at Harry’s blank document.

“Just getting some feelings off of my chest,” Harry replied, eyes flicking towards the document. 

“Ah, it’s one of those pieces.” Louis nodded as if he understood what the pieces were.   
  
“What do you mean by that?” Harry asked, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

“Oh, you know, the ones that you hold so close to your chest. They show you at your most vulnerable so they hold more significance to you than any other piece.” Harry was in awe, he didn’t realise that Louis had paid that much attention to his writing to be able to distinguish between the different types. Harry stared jaw slacken at Louis, unsure of what to say.

“Do you ever think about getting a job with your degree?” Louis asked after another moment of silence.

“I don’t really like my job at the bank so yeah, one day.” Harry shrugged whilst chewing on the inside of his cheek.

“You should apply to an editorial office or a publishing company, there are loads near us. I was looking the other day.” Louis suggested, nudging Harry’s shoulder with his forearm.

“You were looking for other jobs for me?” Harry’s eyes widened and his voice softened, he felt touched that Louis had done that for him. 

“Of course, I know you’re not happy in your job and I just want what’s best for you.” Louis responded as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, perhaps to him it was. 

“Thank you.” Harry spoke breathlessly. 

“It’s no big deal Haz, goodnight.” with that Louis turned on his heel and made his way out of Harry’s room.

“Goodnight.” Harry smiled, butterflies fluttering in his stomach. As soon as Louis closed the door behind him, Harry turned back to the blank document, words spilling out of him like blood from a wound.

_ Dear Lou, _

_ Your selflessness continues to astound me. How you so readily put everyone else’s needs before your own is so admirable. It is not only me you care for but all of your sisters too. Last I spoke to them they told me of how you were always there whenever they were struggling with the loss of their, and your, mother. You would go to the ends of the earth for your family, I love that about you. You do the same for your friends too, no matter how much you are struggling you will always put your feelings aside to assure everyone else is alright. I ought to pay more attention to how you’re feeling, offer my hand when I feel as if you need it. For if you’re busy looking after everyone else, who is going to look after you? I’ll try to. I really will. I’ve never been as compassionate as you have but you deserve to be treated with complete and unadulterated kindness. You have everyone wrapped around your finger, we blindly follow you through every situation for you have this natural pull to you. It was as if you were born to lead and teach, for I have learnt so much from you. It’s not just me, everyone falls to your feet. You could probably have whoever you wanted, whatever beautiful woman with a heart of gold that you desired. Why would you go for the boy you’ve known since he still had his baby fat? You wouldn’t. You deserve better. I wish I could give you better.  _

_ I am sorry this letter seems to have ended on a sour note. For that I will add this, I love you. I love you more than you’ll ever know. I’m in love with you Louis Tomlinson.  _

_ Sincerely yours, Haz. _


End file.
